I think I am, in a way, like Janie in Their Eyes Were Watching God. How she feels she can't fit in anywhere. That's how I feel in school. All these little cliques going on, and I may show up somewhere every now and then, but I can never stick around too long with one certain group of people. It's not that there's something wrong with them, but I feel like it's me. Somehow, l just manage to feel like I don't belong. Like when everyone's standing around in a circle, and someone accidentally scoots in front of me and doesn't even notice. I would say I kind of just am there. I think that's how a lot of people perceive me to be too- just there.
If I were to be labeled, I think most people would put me with the emo/goth/metalheads or whatever you wanna call it. Honestly, though, I don't see why that would be. I guess because I have a few good friends that would fit in more into that group. And of course, listen to some pretty hardcore music too. That's just me though, and I think as I mature, I get a greater sense of independence and just do what I want, whether I fit with people or not. I don't mind, because I know that even if I'm not part of a certain scene I'll always have those couple really amazing friends I can be my complete self with.
I'm pretty sure it's hard not fitting in though, and I don't guess there's much to be done about it, either. But I do know how Janie would have felt, minus the extremeties she must've faced.
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Wow, Alex! You are a beautiful writer! I really enjoyed reading this post and I'm more than sure you are not alone in you feeling of not really belonging anywhere in particular, but that is okay. I was kind of like that, too. I think it is very mature of you to realize that as you grow you will care less and less about what others think or feel about you. I can't wait to see where you go in this life because I have a feeling it will be a long, long way!
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